Apparently...

Apparently there's some of you out there who think we should share the wonder and joys of Christmas with Jackson. I'm personally not for it but here's his gift list by request. See if you can spot a theme!

The following items can all be convieniently found on Amazon.com:


Behold The Ultimate Omnitrex... feel it's POWER!


Ben 10 Season 4


Ben 10 hat... ain't it purdy?!


Ben 10 Jammies... size XL Men's. NO KURT- THESE ARE FOR JAX! (Size 7... 8 if you can find it!)


Ben 10 Scratch & Show Activity Book... awesome as awesome gets.


This one's kinda pricey... go ahead and buy two. ;)


Size 2 if you're in the market!


Honestly, any of the Ben 10 action figures would make Jax happy as a lamb.

So, as you can see- Ben 10 has completely encapsalated our lives. We LIVE for Ben 10... We LOVE Ben 10... We will love YOU for sending us Ben 10.

Okay, we'll even love you if you don't.

All I want for Christmas...

is not my "two front teeth".


I have experienced lately the frustration that is internet shopping while located overseas. It's an odd experience. They will randomly not ship certain things. I will list as follows...

Target.com is guilty of:


The most adorable monkey drink dispenser EVER! And... I can't have it. I have the plates, cups, cookie jar, salt and pepper shakers all ordered from the same site BUT... no drink dispenser. Dumb.



Does this Ohio State Universal Remote look dangerous to you? Apparently target.com thinks so... cause they won't send it to me overseas! How friggin' random!

Amazon.com is guilty of:


Why God, Why?! Carpets are dirty in England too!! Oh, Bissell 2201B Swift Sweep Sweeper... I regret that we have never had the chance to meet...


This may have just been a certain company but I met their misfortune through Amazon so onto the Blog-O-Shame you go!

Walmart.com also hates clean carpets... they won't send me any vacuum bags:

My mom kindly sent me a pack of ten in a care package she has going. LOVE YOU MOMMY! (Hate you Wal*Mart!)

Bath & Body works has forsaken me as such:


I can have LOTION but not GEL? Good Golly... there's no rhyme or reason to this torture!

Aafes.com (military shopping) really got my goat on this one:

Now, these folks are supposed to cater to the military... and they won't ship this stuff overseas! I wanted this Sauder® Camden County Corner Entertainment Stand so bad I could taste it!!! But alas...

So, good stateside people, if you're in the market to get me something for Christmas and you're looking for ideas... please feel free to refer to this blog. You'd make me a very happy woman and I'd like to think, in some small way, we'd be sticking it to the man.

Also... I like this thing:

That my friends is the Dirt Devil KONE Hand Vacuum. It is stylish AND useful. Much like myself. I would possess it...


The old stand-by... if you send these it's an automatic appointment to being my best friend ever!


http://www.herysheygifts.com/ I'm just saying!


So I can keep eating those TastyKakes & Hershey gift baskets that come rolling in... The Biggest Winner - How to Win by Losing: The Complete Body Workout.


I've wanted a Swiss Army Knife for a while. They seem pretty darn cool and useful. Like something Chuck Norris would carry around.

I'll let you go now so you can get to shopping!!! xoxox, Very Deserving Blogger (I LOVE YOU ALL! <- Shameless ploy for gifts!)

GERMANY ROCKED!

It's official: THE WARDS LOVE GERMANY!!!

And honestly- what's not to love?! The food, the scenery, the fact that "fahrt" displays so prominently in their language?

All good things! And check out the view RIGHT OUTSIDE OUR ROOM! Yes, folks- that's the Bavarian Alps right on our doorstep!!

We arrived after a long day of travel on Sunday and immediately hit the dinner buffet! A great start already!! On Monday Jax went to a Kid's Klub which he LOVED and Kurt and I got massages. Then we got drunk in the day time. Lovely, right?! Tuesday we took a day trip to Italy. It was amazing, of course. I had the best spinach gnocci I ever tasted. And as an added bonus we got to see this dude:

His name is Otzi. The "O" actually has those two little dots over it but I don't know how to do that. He was a man frozen in ice thousands of years ago. The Italian museum was doing a huge display. Jax was impressed.

Italy is also very beautiful. We enjoyed a lovely cappuccino in the market town.

Cappuccinos are apparently very strong in Italy...

Onto Wednesday, Jax went to Kid's Klub again while Kurt and I took a Cheese and Schnapps tour! This is how good the food was:

We also visited a Monestary (where they made the Schnapps) and I atoned for my gluttony.

Contrary to the look on my face... it was very enjoyable.

Who love monestaries? This guy!

Wednesday night was Bingo (where we won another 2 days free at the resort!!!) and then a sad departure for Thursday. I would like to proudly announce that my son, Jackson Wyatt Ward, kindly waited until reaching our front porch before vomiting in any way! And now the obligatory Tourist Shots!

PS. The resort, Eidleweis, was the best EVER... they even had the Harry Potter soundtrack playing in the corridors!!!!

I hate movies.

Yes, I know it's weird to hate movies. Yes, it creates tension as I'm married to a movie-lover. Yes, I miss out on a lot of jokes all you movie-goers know... But I can't help it! There is only one true exception to my "Hate Movies" rule and that is, of course, the Harry Potter series. And possibly anything starring Will Farrell.



And one helpful bonus is that you're reading this blog because Kurt is watching a movie and I'm BORED. I just don't have the two hour attention span for most of the predictable, smarmy, overbudgeted, preachy, commercial nonsense that fills up theatres nowadays.

I've already baked a blackberry pie for the cafe tomorrow... I used the fresh blackberries from the owners yard.

YUM!

I've got to work on the Sandwich Van tomorrow as well. Last week I brought Jax with me and it was honestly one of the most fun days we ever had! He's a born salesman!!

He's also been coming with me to the Russian Doll Factory where I put in some time and that has been fun too! His favorite part is putting the stickers on them... and lunchtime.

He's a good little worker. I'm wondering if anybody would notice if I sent him in for me?? Technically I don't think it's breaking child labor laws if you don't pay them!

Summer Vacation!

YAY FOR GORGEOUS WEATHER!!

Our summer vacation is going pretty well! We've been keeping really busy walking around town. Today we are thinking of taking the bus to the market in Bury St. Edmunds. I need to be out in this gorgeous sunshine because even though I read them COMPLETELY out of order... I'm on my last Harry Potter book now. Once finished I might be able to accomplish something else like cleaning this house or hemming my friend Christina's curtains!

But most importantly- we have some really exciting news:

Jackson lost his first tooth! He was so excited that he literally danced for an hour!! The tooth fairy did come to visit us and she left some chocolate buttons and a pound coin. Woohoo!

It seems like just yesterday I could feel his first tooth popping through and now... all growns up!

Nothing like a good 'ole milestone to make you just want to hug them... and also freeze time! It goes too fast!!

NO LUCK!

Okay, so I've had a pretty unlucky coupla days. And it all pretty much centers around the stupid Mildenhall library... Want to hear all about it?! Of course you do, or else why in the world are you reading my inane blogging?!

SO, for about a week, I have been trying to hunt down the last Harry Potter book so I can re-read it. I had Kurt look at the library for me but not being the aficionado that I am... he came back with the 6th book instead of the 7th.



This is what happens when you have minions... they are often not as competent as you'd like. It is a burden the powerful have to suffer... Strangely enough I think Voldemort would second me on this.



Anyhoo, I graciously decided to forgive Kurt. The 6th book is actually the next movie to come out and I wanted to read it eventually anyway. So, I read it. It was very good. I'm looking forward to the movie. But what I'm still REALLY looking forward to it reading the last book... still.

I woke up on Saturday and thought, "What a lovely morning! Jax and I should walk to the library and get the last Harry Potter book!"



Things started off well... we decided to ride our bikes to the Mildenhall library. Half way through our journey there...



Yes, rain in England- if you can believe it! No problem... you come to expect this sort of thing. I whipped out the rain coats I was carrying and off we went. That is when the pavement started to get uneven...



Between the raincoat, puddles and uneven pavement Jax kept falling off his bike. So, here I am walking two bikes, in the rain with a bleeding child.

But we made it to the library. You might think this is where things pick up... but you'd be WRONG! We get there, shed our rain soaked jackets and I start searching for the card catalogue. There isn't one. So, I have to bother the front desk guy. The exchange is as follows:

Front Desk Guy says, "Do you have a library card?"
Soaking Wet Me said, "No, I need to acquire one."
FDG say, "You need photo ID and proof of residence."
I say, "I don't have that... didn't think you needed ID for being able to READ."
FDG says, I will paraphrase, "Then you aren't getting any books today SUCKA!"
I cry quietly and die a little inside.

I call my friend and neighbor Jo to come and collect Jax for me, who by the way is not any more pleased to be leaving the library with no books than I am. Jo really saved the day on this one...



Poor lady wasn't even out of her jammies yet! She kindly lent me the 5th book to tide me over. So I was alright. I woke up today, my day off, the last Monday of school... and it's sunny again! I thought to myself, "I'll drop Jax off at school and then hit the library!" Grabbed some ID, proof of residence and a DNA sample should they need it and off we went. Walked all the way to the library and whatever do you suppose?! THAT'S RIGHT FOLKS-



Frick.

Who the heck is closed for business on a Monday of all days?! I'm beginning to imagine there are conspiracy theories at work here...

So, I decided to walk to my friend Kris's house. Now, Kris has Jo's copy of the last Harry Potter book. He's had it for ages and hasn't finished it. I've been trying to get it off him for ages! I decide that if I bang on his door he'll have no choice but to hand it over. As I walk along I begin to notice that I have accidentally put on the flip-flops that give me blisters after walking long distances.



I get to Kris The Slow Reader's home and, of course, he isn't there. I call him- no answer. Someone must have tipped him off. The windows to his house are open. I sit and ponder whether there is automatic prosecution for breaking and entering in this country. I wonder if I should ask the neighbor who is eyeing me conspicuously whether she might supervise my B&E so as to witness I only leave with the book for which I came. I picture headlines that read, "Harry Potter Nerd Arrested for Theft...".

I limp home to spread news of my tragedy. Defeated.

!!!UPDATE!!! After taking a SECOND journey to Kris The Slow Reader's house and having to arrange a meeting time with his flatmate... to my chagrine I found that the book Slow Reader had was in fact the SIXTH NOT FINAL BOOK!! It was the wrong one!!!!!!!!!

So, I arrived angrily at my house. My family only saved from my ire by the fact that we encountered an ice cream van on the way home... I called around to the bookstore on base. They shut in 2 minutes. Unless I had a time-turner it wasn't gonna happen. So, I made one last desperate call back to the base library. The very nice lady informed me they WERE open and they DID have the book I wanted and she set it aside for me... I went and got it.

I AM VICTORIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!